POOR CREDIT — Donald Trump taking credit for higher TV news ratings is like a germ taking credit for better health.

ATTENTION ALL GEEZERS — You know you’re a senior when an ‘all-nighter’ means not getting up to urinate

THE CASE OF THE COPPER TSUNAMI — When did copper become the must-have ingredient in everything? No doubt you have noticed the copper tidal wave that now includes cookware, infused socks, drinking mugs, shoe insoles, bracelets, knee sleeves and back braces. Copper cookware seems like a reasonable concept until you realize burnt food sticks to it just as well as our trusty, long-lasting, classic, stainless steel pans. There is no empirical evidence that cooper adds any benefit to any of these products. But the wave keeps coming. Next up: the Copper Man in a Wizard of Oz remake.

WHAT MENU? — When you hear, “Listen carefully as our menu has changed,” aren’t they assuming we actually remember the original menu and will be dumbfounded by the new one?

AWARD SHOW AWARDS — The endless award show season is finally over. This annual swarm starts with the Golden Globes, segues to the Critics Choice, pivots to the People’s Choice, pauses a while at the Screen Actors Guild Awards, moves onto the Grammys and winds up with the Academy Awards.

This years Grammys show featured a culturally tin-ear and took a major ratings dive. Isn’t it time to freshen up this show with an innovative, contemporary production team?

The Oscars is now just a bigger echo chamber of the other shows. The only surprise is how many sound editors and mixers can fit on one stage. It also too took a big ratings dive which may mean there are way too many of these self-congratulatory spectacles.

This year’s Oscars did surpassed all others with its overpowering stage set. Looked like they were going for ‘sumptuous’ but landed on a subdivision of ‘gaudy’ instead. You have got to feel sorry for all the women in their exclusively chi-chi gowns who were blitzed out by the enveloping optical chaos.

PROS & CONS — Probiotics are good for us. It’s the amateur ones we have to avoid.

TRUMP STRATEGY — “If people believe there is an imaginary river out there, you don’t tell them there is no river. Rather, you build an imaginary bridge over the imaginary river.” Former Soviet leader, Nikita Krushiev

YUK — There is no sauce, no condiment, no anything that will make lima beans taste better.

Tom Alderman is a thirty year veteran media analyst, trainer and founder of MediaPrep.

Tom Alderman is a thirty year veteran media analyst, trainer and founder of MediaPrep.